HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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