It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
