I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
