Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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