you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
