North Korea, Best Korea!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize