I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
