Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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