I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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