It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
