no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
