We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
