There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
