I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
