I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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