I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
