a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
