So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
