Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
