just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Randomize
