pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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