Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize