if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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