I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
