haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
