Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
