He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
