I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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