He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
