Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
