I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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