I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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