I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
