Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
