You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
