also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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