i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
