im so drunk with asians
where?
always
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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