ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
