i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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