I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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