I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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