He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
