I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
