Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
