don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Enjoy the penises
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
