everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize