i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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