He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
