I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
