all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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