He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
