Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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