That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
