i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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