i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
