somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
