We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize