Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
