Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
