I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
