So drunk its hurt
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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