girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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