I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
