Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
