I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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