I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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