My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
