How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
