best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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