Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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