So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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