i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
