Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
